Why do relationships or reactions repeat themselves?
They repeat in order to bring to the surface the fact that, within us, there are still experiences or emotions that have not been fully understood or processed. These may be connected to situations lived in childhood or to experiences in adult life that have left an emotional imprint.
They are so deeply rooted in our behavior and habits that we tend to be drawn to the same types of relationships we feel familiar with, or to the same types of reactions toward family, children, friends, or any other people or external situations.
What are these patterns trying to show us?
These patterns are trying to convey that there is something within us that needs attention: it may be an emotion, a need, a wound, or an experience that has not yet been integrated.
Why shouldn’t we blame ourselves for them?
Because they are already imprinted in our cells and in our neural structure. When the brain encounters a similar situation, it will react in the same way it has before. This is an automatic process, based on stimuli and learned responses at a neuronal level.
That is why simply wanting to do things differently or trying to control our reactions is not always enough. For this reason, it is necessary to work in a well-structured way.
How do we work with them in therapy?
The first step is to set a clear intention regarding what we will work on: a pattern, an emotion, or a reaction that keeps repeating. Then, through conscious exploration and guidance, we go to their source for awareness and ownership: Yes, I feel the way I felt at the moment when… (most often, these are found in childhood or in an early relationship).
From that point, change begins.
We move toward processing the emotions so they can be released, and toward reclaiming personal power. Once released, you will no longer feel tension, pain, or discomfort on a physical or emotional level. This process helps establish a sense of inner calm and peace. From it, a feeling of healthy detachment is born, through which you will see the situation from a balanced perspective and be able to make decisions consciously, without falling back into the same patterns.
From here on, everything depends on our decision to break away from old habits and to act according to how we truly feel. Just as old habits were created over time, we can also build new, healthier habits, without being pulled back into old patterns.
Marian
Regression Therapist & Hypnotherapist